Hard Time

I turned 17 a week ago.
It's funny now that being seventeen is a trouble for me.
I should be high headed and think forward.
But that's not the thing I have been doing.
In fact, I'm now having a seven years old kid's heart.
More sensitive and I can't think big.
It has been a very rough month for me.
And now I don't know how am I suppose to handle this.
I know I have my girls, boyfriend and boys.
But somehow sometime, things just can't be easy to tell.
I really wish I have someone to talk to about this.
I feel like I have lost a sister when my sister hasn't being one for the past one month.
Exam grades aren't doing so well, which made things worse.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm the worst compared to my other friends in class.
I have the weirdest personality which maybe freaks me friends out.
I don't swear, curse or use bad words whenever I talk.
For some people, it's hard for them to accept that.
But I'm sorry, it's just how my life goes.
Friends are everything to me.
I feel sad whenever my friends don't treat me right but I never had hard feelings on them.
To me, once you're my friend, you will always be one no matter how crazy things are.
It's actually hard knowing one for your friend is leaving you behind.
But I guess I really can't change a thing.
Time is all you need.
Space is all I want.
That's why when you have a boyfriend, you want him to be your best friend.
So that you can tell him every single thing about yourself.
Lovers are like best friends.
Things work better that way.
Throughout the sadness I'm having, I now realized I'm still missing you.
Even though you are back.
I hope we can spend some time together soon.

I'm loving you more.
XOXO