Just me

I dream out loud.
I laugh crazily.
I smile with all my heart.
I cry myself out.
I jump when I'm happy.
I talk slowly.
I sleep quietly.
I bathe every day.
I walk properly.
I dress decently.
I breathe every second.
I shop when I have money.
I scream whenever I need.
I think with my brain.
I run when I have energy.
I text when I'm bored.
I read cause I don't wanna be stupid.
I look up when there are stars.
I eat to grow.
I drink when I feel dehydrated.
I ask if I don't know.
I agree if I like it.
I play when I feel childish.
I feel when I have emotions.
I see when I open my eyes.
I leave if I have to.
I love when it comes to you. (:

Magic happens.
Xoxo

New Year

Hello there.
I know it's been quite sometime since I last updated this haunted dusty and rusty blog of mine.
New Year is just around the corner.
I mean hours away.
To tell you the truth, I AM NOT READY FOR 2010.
2009 has been such a heartbreaking year for me.
There were so many ups and downs I had to go through.
I wasted so many tears this year over silly frustrating issues.
These things really teach me how to be a real human.
A human with a real heart.
I know I hate it so much living in the year of 2009.
But I don't know why, it's really hard for me to leave all the memories of this year behind.
I can't even sleep last night.
I cried myself out just the fact that 2010 is approaching tonight.
I know it is silly to cry on that.
But it is something my heart wanna do.

So, I've made up my mind about this new year coming.

1. I'm gonna slow down with food (I SO HAVE TO)
2. Grow taller, which I don't know how.
3. Study really smart *I kinda have doubts*
4. No more time wasting
5. Won't be with my phone often
6. Books = my second boyfriend
7. Solat tak nak tinggal, Insya Allah. (PALING IMPORTANT)
8. Banyakkan puasa sunat.
9. No way I'm using bad words.
10. Love parents, friends, cousins, relatives and boyfriend with all my heart.
11. No more being super sneaky.
12. Focus on studies.
13. Ignore all the high school dramas
14. No more partying after my birthday (:
15. Gonna be a good muslim, a good daughter, a good friend
16. Live my life to the fullest without going beyond my limits.
17. Live a healthier life
18. I will not change myself.
19. No more getting sick every week.
20. HELLO 2010!

Happy New Year!
Xoxo

Rose The One

Oh gosh, do you have to be so sexy?
One of my favourite fragrance advs <3

Dear Raudhah,
I know you're always here on my blog without my permission.
Hehe.
Get me this fragrance for my birthday oh pleasee.
I'm not asking much
Just this and more sisterly love from you.
THANK YOU. (:

Rabihah the One.
XOXO

Big heart

Things taught me something today.
Don't expect the best and never expect the worst.
Waiting patiently and faithfully cause good things only come to those who wait.
Ugly things take time to get pretty.
That's why you have to wait.
Life is about loving those people who love you.
It's pointless loving people who can't love you.
Smile is the only way to hide your unhappiness.
But do it with all your heart.
Cry means you love that person so much.
When you can't stop crying, that's okay.
You are learning to be a proper human.
We make mistakes, we learn from them.
We regret, we stop doing them.
But when it comes to you boy, regret will never be my word.
The lesser you treat me nice, the more love I have for you.
The more hatred I have for coffee, the more interest I have to drink coffee.

Ps, Loving you with all my heart.
Xoxo

Ask around

Just a random question I have on my mind.

Where do I stand in your life?
On your head?
In your mind?
In your heart?
In your hands?
On your feet?
Somewhere you don't even know?
Tell me about it.

Ps, if you ask me, I would say in my heart.
Xoxo

Time Travel

Hello there. It's been couple of days since I last updated my blog. I'm so bored now. Was going through my old pictures. It's good that these pictures made me smile. (:

Was taken at Port Dickson (:
Rabihah and Raudhah

Favourite kampung, Perth. Argh, I miss going there.
Aunty Jiena, Aunty Ieta and Rabihah

Kak Nad's wedding. I had the best dress ;)
Cucu-cucu perempuan Gede Lon

In Hamzah's car from Pavilion. This was a candit picture as you can see I looked blur.
Azzah and Rabihah

Taken at Great Eastern Mall before the girls met Arin. ;)
Rabihah, Raudhah, Zahin, Fya & the girls. *I kinda forgot their names. Sorry!

The day I found out someone broke my heart ;)

Rabihah and Azzah

Was taken at Jakarta ;)
Raudhah, Rabihah, Nad, Anep and Apit

Vienna (: We were small like babies.

Rabihah and Raudhah

It's so fun looking at old photos.
Xoxo

Namaste

I was with Azzah and Nabila for the whole day.
It was so fun.
We got all Bollywood-ed up.
Here are some of the photos.

Honesty is the best policy

Let's make forever exists.

A long post I'm gonna write today.
I have a lot of things to say.
Let me start,

I used to be someone who hated hurting people's feelings but people ended up hurting mine.
Now I'm the other way round.
I used to hate when my phone started ringing and bugging my life.
But I get so upset now when it does not gives out sounds at all.
I used to love having such a beautiful life.
I tend to hate my life now when too much problems came up.
I used to be quite strong in handling tears.
Now tears overcome me.
I used to just hate bad people's evil deeds.
Now, I'm having the hatred towards human.
Isn't it very unhealthy?
I just realized that now.

Let me get this straight.
Dear my girlies,
(Ziha, Alesha, Azie & Jay)
Thank you so much for always helping me out.
When it comes to Banapple troubles, I always go and refer to you.
Sometimes I don't even tell you things but you figured it out all by yourselves.
I guess you know me quite well.
Thanks for the patience while you're with me.
You know I love you.
Bestfriends for life. <3

To the guy I really love,
There are so many things need to be told.
First of all, I'm sorry,
Sorry for being such a baby these days.
I don't know what got into me.
I should have given you more space for yourself.
I should understand being in your position.
I shouldn't be taking your jokes seriously like how I did.
Switching off my phone will never gonna work things out.
I apologize for doing that last night.
If time is what you needed, I can give you so.
I feel sorry for myself.
I should know how long you have been waiting all this while.
But when you needed time, I made it as an issue.
So, sorry for that.
I really don't wanna be one of your textbooks.
I just wanna be someone you could talk to and at least help you with things.
All I did is making my own conclusions.
I am truly regret for that.
I know you don't like it but it has always been my habit.
I'll try to change.
I know I have sent you a text this evening.
I don't need sympathy.
I just wanna make things better between us.
A week ago, I can't even stop eating.
I guess I was too happy with how my life works.
But things changed now, I stopped eating when all this problem came up.
I really wanna solve this cause I can't stand losing more weight.
I slept with tears these past few nights.
And believe me, waking up in the morning with eye bags are not pretty.
I'm sorry if some of my jokes sounded harsh.
I really didn't mean to.
You might think these are just words.
But I really meant what I said.
I seriously don't like it being here without you.
It seems weird when the closest person to you stops talking to you.
Trust me, it hurts when it happens.
The last time I really smiled from my heart was on Sunday,
My mum loves the way I smell.
The smell of the fragrance you gave.
Thanks for the lovely Flora.
I'm tired of mourning.
I wanna smile and not crying again.
You know, if you don't like anything about me, just come straight and let me know.
I will stop, or I will try at least.
I really thought of asking you out and talk about it.
But since you're pretty busy lately, I just have to do it this way.
I wanna call and talk but I'm scared that we might scream and shout which I really doubt about it cause I know we both don't really do that.
I don't mind if you're super upset with me.
You have reasons why you should be.
And I really understand.
I'm gonna give you time to think about all this.
Just talk to me whenever you feel ready to let the problems go and start writing a new story.
You can always count on me when it comes to anything.
Just keep that in mind.
I am sorry for being too emotional.
I am sorry for being mean.
I am sorry that I cry for you.
I am sorry cause I can't imagine my live without you.
I am sorry for my self-centered love.
I am sorry I cared not enough.

"I love you with all my heart, even though at times I do things that hurt, I try so hard to hope that you always see, how much you being in my life and what you mean to me, I am sorry yet again for causing you pain. That is the last thing I ever wanted to do, even when I am trying to look out for you and do the right thing, I messed up. I am sorry for that too. I hope that you still know how much I love and cherish you, like nothing else in my life gives me the trill of being loved by you. So I hope that you listen and see it in my eyes, this sincere apology that comes with tears from deep inside"

To the one I've been really close to,
I am sorry if I'm such a disappointment to you.
Sometimes things are just not meant to be like how you wanted.
Do keep in mind that I will love you as we are friends, close friends.
Let's get close like last time.
I really don't wanna lose you cause you know, life means nothing when you don't have friends.
I don't wanna say much cause I've said it lots of times before this.
Are we cool?
Please say yes, I really wish for that.

Sincerely, honestly, from deep down inside, I apologize.
Xoxo