Today I caught myself still stuck in the shadows of those days.
Looked for the light but it was too bright I didn't know which path to take. Screamed for help but it feels like nobody ever understand my language.

"It took me miles to find comfort and I only find it at a place. A corner of where the wall understands my words. At that corner I found warmth. This heart feels safe each time I am there. I will be guarded by the purest and kindest words. I knew it my heart is still there, at that corner."

I am broken to have my intentions misinterpreted.
So many of them to be misunderstood by the people I love the most.
Too many things locked in this heart.
But I realized I'd rather be a closed-book because only in me I find comfort and only in God I find faith.
I've gone through one of the loneliest journey to where I stand right now and nothing about the rough times put me in regret.
I have stumbled, I have fall but it makes me whoever I am today.
I may cry myself to sleep, I may stay up all night but the sun still brightens up my day each morning.
I still inhale the same amount of oxygen.
My eyes still blink to the most beautiful things God has given me on this planet I call earth.
The life cycle I'm going through will always be hard but I know He has one of the best finish line for me at the end.
All I need is faith and patience.

So dear Allah, I am sincerely seeking for Your guidance.

Cheesy

I dedicate this to anybody that might end up taking care of me in the future.
Dear loved one,
If you ever wish to marry my world, I'm just saying that I'm not easy to be taken care of.
I might need you to force me to eat my medicines whenever I'm sick. And when I'm sick, take me to the doctor. Even when I fear doctors the most.
This might sound funny but during raya, don't force me to eat raya food. You can take me to McDonald for a really happy meal.
Everytime I get a 'no' from you, I may sulk like a little kid but trust me, deep down inside me, I know why exactly you say no.
I may have my wall of insecurity built higher than The Great Wall of China but I may find comfort in you if you could love me for being perfectly imperfect.
I may be hard to understand but I can offer you a heart that might sincerely love you, insya Allah.
If you think you can keep up with these complications I don't plan to cause you, then who knows. You might be the future Allah SWT has been written for me.